Saturday, 23 August 2008
Friday, 11 July 2008
Modern Life is Rubbish. Part 2: Gaming
If you’ve just spent the last five minutes searching around for Part 1 then let me be the first to tell you that you’ve just wasted five minutes. It’s not here. I lost it. If I remember correctly it had something to do with organisational skills. Clearly I don’t possess any.
So, on to Part 2: Gaming
Gaming (as in video/computer/etc) is, by its very nature, a modern phenomenon. The ancient Egyptians had their own games for sure, but there was a severe lack of Wiis and Xboxes. This is down to an equally debilitating lack of mains electricity. I’m quite sure that if the Romans had a healthy supply of games like Halo they might not have felt the need to conquer other nations and the world would be a very different place. BBC programs would have 2008 at the bottom of them instead of MMVIII. Less confusing but not so impressive and intellectual looking.
As far as I can tell there are three types of gamer…
The would-be professional: These people (probably the least likely to be married or have social lives that include going outside their basement homes) tear through a new game in the smallest time possible, probably not even noticing if the game is any fun at all. The object of the game, to them, is to find out the quickest way to get to the end and then post their findings on a website so that anyone equally not interested in playing to have a good time can race through just to be able to tell their mates they “did it in three hours”.
The second type buy a game to play it and enjoy it. They don’t mind taking their time over their game just so long as they get everything out of it. They’ll spend months if they have to on one game just to get to the end without checking a cheat site for a tip on how to get the last vital clue that leads to the final completion of the game. If they do resort to the cheat website they feel dirty for several weeks and probably don’t go back to the game for a while to let the smear of cheating wear off before starting all over again as a kind of penance.
The third group is generally populated by the older generations of hapless people who don’t know what the words ‘opposable thumb’ mean. This type of person will have a go at a game and laugh at themselves the whole time as they barely get a grip of the controls they need to use to make their character walk let alone perform any useful tasks. Gamers in the second group choose these people as their opponents in multiplayer games so they look good and get a chance to win most of the time. The flip side of this opposable-thumb-challenged group are the people incapable of laughing at themselves. Their games of choice are usually puzzle games that they can do in isolation with no fears of people laughing at their feeble attempts to get used to a piece of technology that doesn’t have a simple stop/go function.
So, on to Part 2: Gaming
Gaming (as in video/computer/etc) is, by its very nature, a modern phenomenon. The ancient Egyptians had their own games for sure, but there was a severe lack of Wiis and Xboxes. This is down to an equally debilitating lack of mains electricity. I’m quite sure that if the Romans had a healthy supply of games like Halo they might not have felt the need to conquer other nations and the world would be a very different place. BBC programs would have 2008 at the bottom of them instead of MMVIII. Less confusing but not so impressive and intellectual looking.
As far as I can tell there are three types of gamer…
The would-be professional: These people (probably the least likely to be married or have social lives that include going outside their basement homes) tear through a new game in the smallest time possible, probably not even noticing if the game is any fun at all. The object of the game, to them, is to find out the quickest way to get to the end and then post their findings on a website so that anyone equally not interested in playing to have a good time can race through just to be able to tell their mates they “did it in three hours”.
The second type buy a game to play it and enjoy it. They don’t mind taking their time over their game just so long as they get everything out of it. They’ll spend months if they have to on one game just to get to the end without checking a cheat site for a tip on how to get the last vital clue that leads to the final completion of the game. If they do resort to the cheat website they feel dirty for several weeks and probably don’t go back to the game for a while to let the smear of cheating wear off before starting all over again as a kind of penance.
The third group is generally populated by the older generations of hapless people who don’t know what the words ‘opposable thumb’ mean. This type of person will have a go at a game and laugh at themselves the whole time as they barely get a grip of the controls they need to use to make their character walk let alone perform any useful tasks. Gamers in the second group choose these people as their opponents in multiplayer games so they look good and get a chance to win most of the time. The flip side of this opposable-thumb-challenged group are the people incapable of laughing at themselves. Their games of choice are usually puzzle games that they can do in isolation with no fears of people laughing at their feeble attempts to get used to a piece of technology that doesn’t have a simple stop/go function.
Monday, 28 April 2008
...an adventure in bath
Bath the city, not a tub filled with water and bubbles.
Not exactly a true story, thankfully as I love my little Andox and would have hated it if this had really happened.
Not exactly a true story, thankfully as I love my little Andox and would have hated it if this had really happened.
Thursday, 3 April 2008
...a girl who can't stop grinning.
I can't help it. It started yesterday when I was on my way to see someone. I was walking along the street and there it was, a big grin plastered on my face. It felt good and I ended up giggling because of the feeling. I didn't much care if anyone saw me grinning like a mad person as I walked along because...well, why not?!
Besides, it's been months since I last felt good about anything and I have done little more than scowl when I'm out and about. So, when I was walking home and the grinning happened again I was delighted and confused more than a few passers by when I smiled and sometimes laughed at nothing. I felt like I owned the town.
Today I have got a body that's more than a little grumpy, all sorts of aches and pains for seemingly no reason, and some pains for very good reasons (it's that time of the month). Despite all that I still had to do the housework. Did not want to stand about washing greasy trays, but there you go, it has to be done. And to my surprise I find myself singing along more than happily to The Feeling and again the grinning and laughing came back. All the pain and aching seemed to disappear into the background! Yay. I'm feeing good about my life even though there's not overly much to celebrate at the moment.
Well, there's one thing. I threw away a big load of baggage the other day, and that took a huge weight off my shoulders. Waking up one morning without a broken heart was certainly a good thing. I want to shout it out to the world really, and I suppose that's where the grinning comes from. Not suffering from heartbreak anymore feels actually a lot better than being in love in the first place did!
He was a looser if you're wondering. I mean, I'm fabulous (and he knew it) yet he didn't want me. His loss. My gain by the looks of it.
Besides, it's been months since I last felt good about anything and I have done little more than scowl when I'm out and about. So, when I was walking home and the grinning happened again I was delighted and confused more than a few passers by when I smiled and sometimes laughed at nothing. I felt like I owned the town.
Today I have got a body that's more than a little grumpy, all sorts of aches and pains for seemingly no reason, and some pains for very good reasons (it's that time of the month). Despite all that I still had to do the housework. Did not want to stand about washing greasy trays, but there you go, it has to be done. And to my surprise I find myself singing along more than happily to The Feeling and again the grinning and laughing came back. All the pain and aching seemed to disappear into the background! Yay. I'm feeing good about my life even though there's not overly much to celebrate at the moment.
Well, there's one thing. I threw away a big load of baggage the other day, and that took a huge weight off my shoulders. Waking up one morning without a broken heart was certainly a good thing. I want to shout it out to the world really, and I suppose that's where the grinning comes from. Not suffering from heartbreak anymore feels actually a lot better than being in love in the first place did!
He was a looser if you're wondering. I mean, I'm fabulous (and he knew it) yet he didn't want me. His loss. My gain by the looks of it.
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
..a mad crash through my brain
Welcome to my world. It’s mad, and I like it that way.
I’m an artist, a writer, a photographer, a gardener, a crocheter and a cook. A few years ago I worried that I had no hobbies and wasn’t overly good at much other than writing and art – not that I’m complaining, there isn’t much better in life than a completed story or painting – but then I found some motivation and creativity (thanks to leaving a job that had well and truly crushed my spirit) and I discovered all these things I loved to do. And I was good at them.And here I am babbling about them. Good for me.
I like to babble.
And here's something else I like to do...
(click it...see what happens)
I’m an artist, a writer, a photographer, a gardener, a crocheter and a cook. A few years ago I worried that I had no hobbies and wasn’t overly good at much other than writing and art – not that I’m complaining, there isn’t much better in life than a completed story or painting – but then I found some motivation and creativity (thanks to leaving a job that had well and truly crushed my spirit) and I discovered all these things I loved to do. And I was good at them.And here I am babbling about them. Good for me.
I like to babble.
And here's something else I like to do...
(click it...see what happens)
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