Friday, 12 June 2009

Queen's inspired poetry

Wrote this little poem while waiting for Andy Roddick play his quarter final match and thought it would be nice to share it. It's about Roddick, if you hadn't already guessed.

The Sharpshooter

A four-time champion
Here at Queen's.
Going for a fifth
By any means.
How many aces will there be?
I'll just have to wait and see.

Modern Life is Rubbish. Part 3: TV Audiences

Apparently they let any old moron into a studio for a live recording. While watching a US rerun the other day the host asked the audience to call out things they liked about the modern world. One idiot shouted out “beer” while the slightly clever masses yelled things like “TV” or “computers”.

If you’re going to shout something out to the whole world “I am a moron” isn’t usually on people’s short list. If you want to call out something modern trying an item that wasn’t invented thousands of years ago. There isn’t much that’s been around longer than beer. As long as humans have had spare time on their hands they have played around with fermented crops. So, pretty much all the while there has been agriculture there has been alcohol. And beer. All throughout history there have been records of beer consumption. Hell, even the ancient Egyptians had beer. Sure, it was lumpy, had to be strained before drinking and barely resembled the hop and barley mixture we have these days, but it was beer nonetheless. They even had beer festivals. Nothing really changes, does it?

So, if someone ever asks you to shout out something you like about the modern world, think carefully. A lot of what we enjoy these days has been around for centuries, even millennia.

Here are some handy suggestions…
The Internet
High Definition TV/DVD/etc
Film merchandise
iPod Touch

And some things that would make you look silly if you suggested…
Books (they’ve been around in some form or another for donkeys years)
Wall art (cave paintings anyone?)
Tattoos and body piercing (the good old Egyptians and many other ancient cultures started that trend)
Boats (how d’ya think we spread so far over the world?!)

I’m gonna shut up now and go enjoy something modern…

Monday, 8 June 2009


Woken out of slumber,
By a massive clap of thunder.
Would I get to sleep again?
I was left to wonder.